Carpal tunnel man: "Wow, he's got one massive schlong doesn't he" (nudges the person beside him)

rando 1: "????? dude. we're about to be tortured for all of eternity and all you can mention is his cock,????"

Carpal tunnel man: "I mean with a stickshift like that who wouldn't amirite"

rando 1: "He's fucking satan"

Carpal tunnel man: "I mean what else are you gonna expect from the manifestation of sin? Modesty?"

rando 1: "Fair point."

(obviously satan’s schloingadoing is off camera)

(at the registration desk)

scene demon lady: "Yeah you're on the list."

Carpal tunnel man: "when do i get to passionately kiss a buff hairy demon on the lips with tongue?"

scene demon lady: "don't say 'when', time isn't real mr. carpal tunnel. go through the gate."

(points towards a door labelled "ABANDON ALL HOPE")

carpal tunnel man: "Ok thank you bye" (looks at nametag) "ოგçदמყბზל"

(walks through door and falls directly into an endless pit with countless other people cascading down like waterfalls)

(Later, or 17 minutes ago, or something. i'm not even fucking sure because time doesnt exist)

Carpal tunnel man: "Ok so my balls hurt a lot and all that jazz, but like, when do i get to leave?"

buff hairy demon: "SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I MAKE YOU!!!!!!!!!"

carpal tunnel man: "Ermmm. ok."

buff hairy demon: "Don't talk to me like that. or i get the spine whip."

carpal tunnel man: "Spine whip?! that sounds fucking METAL dude. let me see"

buff hairy demon: "Do you think i'm your fucking SLAVE"

carpal tunnel man: "That'd be hot"

(dumbfounded dot jpg)

buff hairy demon: "Ok hold still"

(Demon rips out carpal tunnel man's spine)

buff hairy demon: "IS IT STILL HOT TO YOU?!?!?"

carpal tunnel man: "i mean, kinda y"

(carpal tunnel man dies with church bell sfx)

(silence)

(Blue neon sign that says "WELCOME 2 HELL 2" flashes on and off above carpal tunnel man)

carpal tunnel man: "Damn ok"

(carpal tunnel man swings open the front door to see nothingness and a some random software engineer in the center at a computer)

nerd: "Oh dammit. Another stupid stinky SPEEDRUNNER. sheesh. I havent finished building this area so you're gonna have to wait with all 17 of you who want to get the platinum so badly. I don't even have the concept art yet. So like. buzz off or something."

carpal tunnel man: "Can i like go back to earth now?"

nerd: "You picked EARTH. wow. SO Original. good one. ok tell me where you ACTUALLY want to go"

carpal tunnel man: "I mean. I didnt really. I didnt pick i was just born. like on earth"

(slow turn)

(silence)

carpal tunnel man: "Ok. hm. actually you know what. i'll just find my way back"

(SLAM)

(Cut to two criminals (hunter & gatherer) wiping sweat off of their foreheads besides an inconspicuous rectangular pile of dirt while leaning on shovels)

hunter: "Glad THAT's over with."

gatherer: "Yea. Totally dude."

(Carpal tunnel man digs through the dirt)

carpal tunnel man: "oh hey guys"

hunter + gatherer: "CARPAL TUNNEL MAN!!!"

(jump cut to mcdonalds table)

(jump cut to hunter+gatherer+carpal tunnel man sitting on one end)

(jump cut to the other end of the table which has a sad car covered in blood i sweqr this was funnier in my head)

I know there was a storyboard but i cant find it :(